She says she locks her door at night. But the weird thing is she wont let me in her house when he is there. She keeps me separate from him. He is unstable and she tells me he writes her poetry. I havent been over to my girlfriends house in a month. But when I was there one time..I noticed he sleeps in a sleeping bag on his bed. I thought that was odd. I saw my girlfrriend had her nightgown and her bra on the bed with the door wide open. I didnt see condom wrappers or anything unsual. I didnt suspect anything. But i dont know. Should i be concerned? My girlfriend keeps me int he dark about him and says she is liek a mother to him. She does have a heart and many guys call her mom. I met her friends and many of them are churchgoers and some nerdy types. She has told me she has spent the night at some of their houses on the couch. They are no threat at all. Again, many of them are unattractive, nerdy types cause I met them. However, her roommate is a redneck guy.
She says all i do is lecture her and Im no fun to be around anymore. She suggested we go to dating counseling because she thinks i am bipolar, jealous, and have insecurities. I told her she makes me feel insecure. Yet we still fight.
I dont know what to do. I care about her a lot and I dont want to dump her. Any suggestions. Worrying if she is sleeping with him? She also cut sex off with me 3 weeks ago because we argue and she says she is stressed out because our situation is complicated and we have problems. We have tryed talking but end up fighting. Im so stressed out from this situation. I feel like she is playing me. Any suggestions? I need serious answers only.
Dump her before she dumps you, you'll feel much better about it. Cause if she cut you off, she ain't far from getting rid of your A**.
I don't mean to be blunt, well ok yes I do. Dude grow some nads. You have been dumped,and she hasn't even bothered to tell you cause she is to busy with her new relationship.
There are women every where out there, so you should'nt keep killing yourself over one. You sound like you have a long life ahead of you, so go live it. Don't depress yourself over a failed relationship, its just not worth it. Go forth and be happy.
You'll be glade you did!
seriously? dump her. you'll be doing her a favour and give yourself a chance to grow up before getting into a relationship again. It horrifies me to think you are molding young minds.
The first sentence was enough for me. She should be living with you bro.
Don't let her slide in with someone else, something is bound to happen!
well shes not treating you well so you should dump her because you deserve better. confront her and tell her your concerns. but i really think moving on is your best bet because she is probably cheating on you
im not gonna even read the story if you don't trust her break up
I think that even if she isn't cheating there is something very odd about this situation. I would be concerned even if she isn't actually sleeping with him. If I were in your shoes I think I would just say "I am very uncomfortable with this situation and it is undermining our relationship." She may have to make a choice because whether she is sleeping with him or not - he is coming between the two of you.
- Trust her... and maybe if she is cheating on him she'll realize your better or something.
- Spy on her...get a friend to follow them places and see what there talking about
- Talk to her... Calmly ask her about it try to get her to spill her secrets. You can even fake cry or something get her to think you really care.
-Talk to him... maybe you can get him to spill his secrets if he is really that dumb maybe he'll just tell you.
- Find someone else to talk to her/ him: his best guy friend or her best girl friend .
- Break up... you could always be a jerk and just dump her tell her your over her and you don't need a reason.
- buy a new apartment... ask her to move in with you tell her she can pick any apartment with any bathroom she likes if they still keep in much contact TELL HER YOUR HER BOYFRIEND AND YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING MORE TIME WITH HER THAN A "FRIEND" TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO PICK YOU OR HIM AND SEE WHO SHE DECIDES. It may not be the nicest plan but if he really is the guy your explaining it seems better for her to stay away from him anyways
♥ hope that helps♥ Adrienne
mate looks like u love her so much and u don't want to dumb her
well the only thing u can do is and im serious about that u have to spy on her well get a camera in manyway u can install it somewhere in her room in her room whenever u got chance personnaly i don't like spying but when it comes to something like that the only thing u wanna do is spying and u can spy in many ways use ur brain its ur girlfreind and u know the house lie on her if u have too don't fight her be nice to her until u found out what's going on but if she fights u for no reason it does mean she doesn't like u anymore and she might likes the other guy if good luck bro
Well it does sound like she is cheating on you i know im only a teen but i do know my mother has went through this alot and i know what the sighns are and if you ask me yes she probably is i know it is hard or you to face reality about this it would be for me to what i would do is either A.higher a privet investagtor 2.watch her emotins on the phone of when he is aand is not there you will be able to tell she will be either nice or mean when he is there and sweet or mean the other times and if she is avoding you try to find out a little more i kow i sound crazy but trust me my mom did it with her second husband and we found out he was cheatin and one of her boyfreinds i een found out with one of mine please try at least the voice thing! GOOD LUCK SORRY!!!!!!
well i dont "think" she is cheating on you
but she is neglecting the relationship
why cant she move in with you and
then have her roomate move in with you 2
if she wants it that way
you should dump her because
you need someone who loves you at the same amount
and from what i read she dosent really care that much,
and this realtionship is going down the drain
you deserve someone better like i said
Wow. If I were you I would break up.
You are the boyfriend. She is the girlfriend. You two are supposed to be partners, teammates, lovers and best friends. (kinda sappy I know, but you get the idea) If she valued the relationship with you, she would have kicked him out by now.
Its obvious to me that she is putting her relationship with this roommate (no matter how platonic it is) before her relationship with you. It has nothing to do with sex, but rather her actions show he is more important to her at this point in her life. Even if they are simply friends, she obviously is getting something out of their arrangement, like feeling needed.
It is totally ok to be acting jealous, in this case you are right. She IS making you feel insecure. My boyfriend would never let me have a male roommate, not even if the roommate was queer, and because I value him and his feelings I choose to think of that as "normal" boyfriend stuff, and not overly jealous in any way. I have friends who are guys and who I hang out with alone, but living with someone? No freaking way. That is not okay, even if the guy is mentally handicap. (uh huh, mentally slow....ya right)
I don't see any point in trying to get her to see the light, but if you insist, I agree on the couples counseling. But if I were you, I would so find a girl who respects you enough to not live with other guys.
~Good Luck~
Based on your description of her and her friends, I wouldn't be surprised if her attitude toward him is more motherly, however that isn't an excuse for her to prohibit you from coming around. I get the sense that she is very protective of him to the extent of putting him first over you. It seems that she might like the feeling of being needed.
Unfortunately, you being upset and continuing to argue wit her about it won't help the situation. I suggest that you try to be "fun" again (since she says you are not) and get her to realize why she is with you again in the first place. As a girl, I know that when I feel that all is going to happen when see a guy is that we are going to argue, I do not want to see them and much less sleep with them.
However, if this doesn't work, it might be best to end the relationship. It is unfair for you to have to live like that.
Cutting off sex 3 week ago that mean it a big problem. Mabe you try to carry on not to put so much love on her taking it back slowly and see how it goes.Let her hav more freedom she might be stress also because of the fight and argument you all having. Don't have to worry don't let you jealous run over your head.She migh be trustworth also try to belive her and see how it goes.Good Luck
dude its over. she is living with another man. i dont care what she says , there is no way its not personal and intimate. i would never tolerate it. not for a second. if it was not intimate she would let you two hang out. but shes not. dont listen to what she says look at her actions. cooks, manages his finances, hardrock cafe !!!! you have got to be kidding me!!! if there not dating, and it sounds like they are, she sure is dedicating alot of time for this guy. get out now. it doesnt sound kosher.. never chase girls or buses. if you miss one another will be along in 20 mins. and another thing "cut off sex"? dude sex is not a barganing chip. its not a reward for when youre "behaving". 3 weeks???!!! you should have been gone two weeks ago. dont worry about dumping, youve already been dumped
I almost said do not sweat it, but you said she stopped having sex and y'all are fighting constantly. She is up to something or she is cheating. Fair game, I would let her go. If she is putting that guy before you, you should let it go.
Have you ever considered that your paranoia is the problem and not her or her roommate?
How would you feel if you moved in with a girl & you became friends with her..and your girlfriend started being completely paranoid and kept harping on you about how she suspects your relationship with your roommate is suspicious..
if you knew nothing was going on between you and your roommate, how annoyed would you be by her paranoia?? Think about it.
You're showing a complete lack of trust for your girlfriend, and your own insecurities are going to drive you two apart if you don't stop harping.
Maybe you guys should take a break for a while... thats kinda weird you havnent been to her house in a month. and just because he's a geek or dork doesnt mean she couldnt be attracted to him. its not always about the looks! If you cant really trust her and your not happy in the relationhship anymore.. you should just end it.
I will give you my best impression from what I have just read.
There are some people that seek to nurture others that they deem need it. There are those that seek a nurturing type of relationship. Remove religion from this situation. This is not appropriate behavior on your girlfriends part. But, I think that she is not your girlfriend anymore. She just doesnt know how to tell you< or you just arent hearing her. Spare yourself further grief and move on. And on the jealousy part, learn to control it, or it will control you. Good luck to you. I hope you find the answer you seek.
You have to talk to her about it. If she doesn't want to talk about it, it's probably because she's cheating on you. Don't talk to her about it already assuming she is. If you do, she will be insulted at how you don't trust her. It's probably really hard not to assume the worst but maybe it's not as bad as you think, even if the situation looks really bad. You have to find out if she cares about you. If she doesn't, then you have to break up and move on. Sorry.
Well, you have no evidence she's cheating but I sympathize, the sitation sounds hard. I'd hate it if my boyfriend were living with some other girl, she could be a little more sensitive to you given the situation but..again, I can't make any judgements on it cause I'm not there and I don't know what's going on. I would wait it out a bit longer, see how she's acting, if she keeps distancing herself from you, it may be time to confront her and end it for your sake.
First, why didn't you move in with her?
That said...
That's pretty freaking lame of her dude. It sounds like you've tried to talk to her, so that's good. You should probably chill out on questioning her on whether she's cheating on you, though I personally think you have a legitimate case to at least wonder.
Get a better reason as to why she won't let you in her house... because the excuse she gave you is weak as hell.
Right now, I would say to not be "concerned," but don't just blow this off as nothing yet, as her actions aren't exactly lacking in curiosity.
Go to the cousiling with her if she really wants to, just to show that you do care, and take it from there.
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